i wish you happy

i have had many part time cats in the past
they came and went, for lunches, dinners and suppers
and yet
none of them had been so special except for her.

i call her meow
in the photos that i took, she was known as fat.

first time i saw meow, she was lazing in the sun downstairs.
i fed her and her friend, black.
after many times, she started to recognize me.
she would just come, rubbing her head against my legs. asking to be petted.

then i decided to bring her home, or at least outside my house door.
treated her to countless meals and drinks
she would call nonstop till she sees the food
after that, she would want you play. then she would simply walked off to stalk the night

she would always try to sneak into the house, just to take a peek.
once in a while, when no one was home, i would let her walk around freely.
i didn't had to bring her upstairs, she simply invited herself.
she would sit patiently near my door, trying her luck. waiting for me to come home.
because she knew, she would get some warmth from me.

she would play with my laces, bite my fingers and sit on top of the shoe cabinet.
i would have let her become my full time cat if not for the fact that my mum would probably drive me out of the house.

about a month back, my sister asked.
if you see the cat, let me know.
why?
because i saw a cat got hit by a car. and the cat looked like her.
i asked her if she took a closer look, she didn't dare.

i didn't see meow for a few days before the conversation.
i hadn't seen her since.
i had hoped it wasn't her.
but as the days passed, my hope faded.
and my heart grew heavy

was she..
i don't know.
i will never get to know.

where did you go. i hope you are happy.
i miss you~